she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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