I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
