If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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