my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
