seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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