six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
