NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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