I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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