i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
