i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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