You just made me feel so damn special
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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