That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
