the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
