how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
