Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
