i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
false alarm, still single
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
