I want to walk on stilts...naked
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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