I wish I could teleport
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
