you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
