drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
