we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
