it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I need a beard to bite.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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