i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
