she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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