Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
