I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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