I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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