Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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