You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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