But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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