I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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