i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
