I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
