WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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