Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
