Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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