I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
