At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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