What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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