Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize