ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
