My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
