This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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