When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
