I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
