no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
