her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
