Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My liver just had a heart attack.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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