My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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