how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
