I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Randomize
